you exist

most definitely
you exist

and there
the molecules
resist

my chemistry
my interaction

with you

I reach

a point
where I change
my state

from
a solid
to a liquid
to a gas

and then
to some quantum
basis
that
begs
for my
participation
but doesn't
wait for my
permission

I love you
what is that?

what is that?
that that sets
me on my side?
that that takes
me in its wake,
its undertow
and drowns
my sensibilities

every
inch of
my essence
is immersed
I have
no breath
of my own
I can't own
the air

it's all
on loan
from
the universe
for a time

and you too
are like my heart
or any other organ
that I cannot
live without

oh this dysfunction!

I love you
and I don't know
what it means

it means
nothing
without action
without touch
without interaction

so I love
an illusion

a dark
ethereal
body

distant
nondescript
produced
by some
chemical
trick in my head
my brain

electrons again
where are you?
I miss you.
I love you.
do you
really exist?

if so
then...

where are you?