thoughts while riding the bus

Now that my son has graduated high school I find myself hoping and praying that he will find his way in this confusing world. I long for him to become a responsible man, but not sell his soul to the powers that prey on the common man. All my life I have been struggling to become wealthy in one respect or another, and failed all attempts in everyway. All I've managed to do is put myself deeper in debt. For some reason success does not come easily to me, or I fail to recognize it when it does.

Oh well, there's really no controlling things. Everytime I get to a point where I think things are lining up to actually start back up out of the hole, there is a charge that pops up; I get a speeding ticket ($160), I break my tooth ($700 + ins.), The car breaks down ($678). Well there's no fooling the forces of the universe is there, when something is meant to be it happens. I want to find a way to choose something!

Yes, we get lots of choices in our lives, but the really big ones we have nothing to do with, do we? Who our parents are, where we are born, how wealthy we are, how many brothers and sisters we have, what we look like, our physical health. Much of this world is set. We are cast forth from these beginnings. We are a daisy if we are born a daisy, and we won't likely become a rose. All we can hope for is to be the best daisy we can be. But daisies get eaten by the horses, and trampled by the dogs. Daisies are picked and wilt away. But each year the daisies return for more. Just so they can wave in the wind and bask in the sunshine of a beautiful and warm June day.

I'm supposed to be happy being a daisy. But I'm not. I want to be more. I waste all my precious daisy time wanting to be something other than I am. But something in me keeps telling me that it just might be possible. It might be possible to break out of the daisy mold and be more of a rose, or a climbing vine... maybe one that produces good fruit. But then the other side comes in and says I shouldn't try to be something I'm not, I should be happy with who I am and live that to the fullest, because while I'm here on this earth, if I spend all my time trying to be something I'm not, I'm actually missing who I am this very moment.

This is all very confusing. It is also somewhat depressing.
So where is all the sunshine? And how will this help my son?