Lunar Eclipse

Last night there was a full moon. The full moon was eclipsed by the sun. Actually, the earth came between the sun and the moon -- brutal earth!

It was really cold out, but we went out to see it in 15 degree weather. The night was absolutely clear and there really wasn't much wind. While we were watching the eclipse out in the front yard, I thought about the university observatory up on (of all things) Observatory Hill. I remembered it was a Wednesday and thought they might be open. (They're open sometimes on Wednesdays). So I loaded everybody in the little put put and we headed off to see if the observatory was open.

When we got to the observatory, there were students with high-powered lenses looking at the moon. They shared their great "kid that can afford to go to college" binoculars with us. But the actual observatory wasn't open. There was a note on the door to go down to the new-fangled one down the street. Na.

It was pretty. It was happening as we stood there. The weather was happening. The time was passing. Something about being there with other people added a dimension to it. So I wasn't so disappointed that the observatory wasn't open. It finally peaked and I thought I'd better get little Simon to the car, it was so cold, and you can't really tell how warm those crummy kid winter clothes are -- and Mr. Simon never complains!

The eclipse passed, like so many things in nature, smoothly, with an obvious orbit. Slow, steady and with some weird aspect of grandeur. Most things, I'm not patient enough to wait for, especially other human beings. But the seasons passing, the eclipse of the moon, the phases of the moon, the tides rising and falling, and other such events happening from time to time on this cosmic spaceship we are all riding, just fascinate me, and slow me down to what I'm guessing must be the "right" speed.

Even in the bitter cold, everything was marvelous. Maybe there aren't enough people in my life. I'm pretty scared of people. I'm scared I won't be able to give them what they want. I'm scared I'll wrong them somehow. This is my head, the inside of my crazy head. But for some reason, just looking up at this moon, and watching it glow amber, made me feel for a few seconds that I was part of everything, I disappeared into that wonderfully lush indigo sky with the planets and the stars sprinkled around and a moon that I need to be tethered to or I will just float away into my head and maybe not return.

So it was all good. It was a reminder that there is a broader reality than just the inside of my head. There is a love that isn't romantic, it's a love for mere existence. The mere spec of time we are here. I'm convinced it's all we have. Our ego anyway. The me part. But so much of our time here we are eclipsed by societal obligations. Which is right, because what would happen? But when we step out of the shadow of life and our selves to join the rest of humanity and stare up at that beautiful orb, we've named Luna, time recedes, the ticking fades and we float through along with it with everyone else watching. There's something real about that for me. It's something you can't take a picture of, or catch on Youtube. I think Jung tried to figure it out, but after all, we are mere mortals. Puny little mushy vessels plunked down here on the weird spinning, orbiting, violent ball of a world.

It's actually pretty cool when you stop thinking about it.