afraid
it may all
be just
a mirage
and I'm still
in that desert
that is life
without you.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
this time
this time
the seconds
thicken
like
molasses
buttering
days
dark
sticky
between
my legs
bitter
pulsing
inside
twisted
smear
canker
numbs
no beat
this time
the seconds
thicken
like
molasses
buttering
days
dark
sticky
between
my legs
bitter
pulsing
inside
twisted
smear
canker
numbs
no beat
this time
what should i do?
should i leave
thoughts of you
behind me?
should i bury
any remnant
in the grist?
what should i do?
should i write
you angry
love letters
should i tell
you i hate you
when i don't
should i keep away
when all i want
is to touch you
what should i do?
thoughts of you
behind me?
should i bury
any remnant
in the grist?
what should i do?
should i write
you angry
love letters
should i tell
you i hate you
when i don't
should i keep away
when all i want
is to touch you
what should i do?
stones in pockets
one by one
i choose
the stones
one by one
i place them
in my pockets
step by step
i wander
toward the river
step by step
i wade
across the current
at first i float
the water
lifts me
then it
takes me under
to save me
from the
nightmare
of your daggar
i choose
the stones
one by one
i place them
in my pockets
step by step
i wander
toward the river
step by step
i wade
across the current
at first i float
the water
lifts me
then it
takes me under
to save me
from the
nightmare
of your daggar
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
i love you
perhaps we are
a classic case
star-crossed
tossed
out-of-control
passionate
and maybe we
wreck each other
every time we kiss
to find that place
that can never
be described
the fracture
occurred
and its mending
is long
and calcification
stiffens
your resolve
but we too
can evolve
in love
and heal
i stretch
to reach you
for an instant
all my focus
rests
within
your heartbeat
the tenor
of your voice
makes my
soul vibrate
with the sound
and the promise
of life!
that very thing!
light and dark
ecstatic and miserable!
but breath itself
when we kiss
I breathe you in
it heals me
i love you
a classic case
star-crossed
tossed
out-of-control
passionate
and maybe we
wreck each other
every time we kiss
to find that place
that can never
be described
the fracture
occurred
and its mending
is long
and calcification
stiffens
your resolve
but we too
can evolve
in love
and heal
i stretch
to reach you
for an instant
all my focus
rests
within
your heartbeat
the tenor
of your voice
makes my
soul vibrate
with the sound
and the promise
of life!
that very thing!
light and dark
ecstatic and miserable!
but breath itself
when we kiss
I breathe you in
it heals me
i love you
control
the need to control
the lack of control
control
control
control
no self-worth
low self-esteem
fear of the unknown
fear of being hurt
again
control
control
control
thinking
it is going to solve
this dilemma
thinking
it will inocculate
you from
the pain
of love
love is a pain
from the get go
love is letting go
of the fear of fears
love is freeing
and binding
simultaniously
love might hurt sometimes
but stick with it
stick with it
it will show us
something in the end
it will show us
mercy
no control
that is love
giving up control
losing the fear
leaving fear
where it really should reside
love
love me
I'm afraid too.
but love me
I promise
we can do this
we can
the lack of control
control
control
control
no self-worth
low self-esteem
fear of the unknown
fear of being hurt
again
control
control
control
thinking
it is going to solve
this dilemma
thinking
it will inocculate
you from
the pain
of love
love is a pain
from the get go
love is letting go
of the fear of fears
love is freeing
and binding
simultaniously
love might hurt sometimes
but stick with it
stick with it
it will show us
something in the end
it will show us
mercy
no control
that is love
giving up control
losing the fear
leaving fear
where it really should reside
love
love me
I'm afraid too.
but love me
I promise
we can do this
we can
far away lost
you precious
damaged beauty
the crystal of your
cage chips away
only on occasion
i try to be there
to catch some
of the fragments
but rarely get the chance
damaged beauty
the crystal of your
cage chips away
only on occasion
i try to be there
to catch some
of the fragments
but rarely get the chance
Friday, January 16, 2009
conch
spiny
womb
soft in sand
lies
exposed
pink
sunset
worm
resides
inside
paradise
contained
under water
resting
womb
soft in sand
lies
exposed
pink
sunset
worm
resides
inside
paradise
contained
under water
resting
lots of rocks
deeply embossed
a crease
a ravine.
right through
the middle
worn away
by wind
and water
breath
and tears
a crease
a ravine.
right through
the middle
worn away
by wind
and water
breath
and tears
Thursday, January 8, 2009
If I had another life
Making mistakes seems to be my forté.
But I don't feel for one moment you are a mistake.
and we are more together than what we are apart.
Apart we are just people. Together we are family.
love, love, love.
But I don't feel for one moment you are a mistake.
and we are more together than what we are apart.
Apart we are just people. Together we are family.
love, love, love.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
still dreaming
Woke up this morning, breathed in and out. Sat drinking my coffee, wondering how you were. I could see the edges of the curtains gradually illuminate as the sun rose. It was quiet, but the heater kicked-in every-so-often.
I backed up within my mind to your touch, your smile, your voice. But that just made me want more. So I tried blanking my mind out, and thinking of the entirety of nothing. I started thinking about patience and fear.
Fear is a really powerful emotion. It seems to bring out the bad stuff in humanity. Just what are we so afraid of? Like with me an patience. I'm afraid of never being with you again. I'm afraid you'll go far away and I'll never have that feeling of oneness, of being whole again. So fear seems to be about losing something.
Patience is about controlling that fear. Placing it aside somehow. Calming the mind down from racing and racing and worrying. I see your hand. I looked at your hands. Such beautiful hands. I see your eyes and the pools of love inside them. Deep pools of pain too. And I wondered about your fear, and your anxiety. I tried to have compassion. Then I wondered what is compassion, and how is it related to patience and fear.
I lay back, and sip some more coffee, and wonder what I can do to fill my day up so I'm not continually obsessing about you. I have to distract my mind. Because I don't want to forget. If I forget I will go down another bad road. I have to find a way to remember what we have, but be distracted just enough to hold on to it and be patient and quell the fear. What an equation! What a balance!
I feel the spinning plates on my nose and arms and foot, and I'm hopping about with all the spinning plates. Such precious plates. I don't want any to crash to the ground, spraying in all directions. Leaving the illusion of dexterity and ease in the dust bin. My fear wears me out. Patience is even harder.
My head hits the nice soft pillow and I breathe in the lavender essence, close my eyes, and dream of you again. You, in the soft supple youth, driving the Boston Whaler across the shallow, in the night. The smell of pure ocean air. Your hair, your feet, your legs.
I never fit there then, I was so insecure. It was too good for me, I didn't deserve it. At least that's what I felt. But now. I've changed. I know I deserve it. You, and everything you bring. Your anger, your wit, your humor, your angst.
You hang around my life like a heavy and beautiful medallion. You're a pendulum that swings with the inertia of my life. I might swing with yours too. I just don't know. At least I can still dream. At least I can still breathe.
I backed up within my mind to your touch, your smile, your voice. But that just made me want more. So I tried blanking my mind out, and thinking of the entirety of nothing. I started thinking about patience and fear.
Fear is a really powerful emotion. It seems to bring out the bad stuff in humanity. Just what are we so afraid of? Like with me an patience. I'm afraid of never being with you again. I'm afraid you'll go far away and I'll never have that feeling of oneness, of being whole again. So fear seems to be about losing something.
Patience is about controlling that fear. Placing it aside somehow. Calming the mind down from racing and racing and worrying. I see your hand. I looked at your hands. Such beautiful hands. I see your eyes and the pools of love inside them. Deep pools of pain too. And I wondered about your fear, and your anxiety. I tried to have compassion. Then I wondered what is compassion, and how is it related to patience and fear.
I lay back, and sip some more coffee, and wonder what I can do to fill my day up so I'm not continually obsessing about you. I have to distract my mind. Because I don't want to forget. If I forget I will go down another bad road. I have to find a way to remember what we have, but be distracted just enough to hold on to it and be patient and quell the fear. What an equation! What a balance!
I feel the spinning plates on my nose and arms and foot, and I'm hopping about with all the spinning plates. Such precious plates. I don't want any to crash to the ground, spraying in all directions. Leaving the illusion of dexterity and ease in the dust bin. My fear wears me out. Patience is even harder.
My head hits the nice soft pillow and I breathe in the lavender essence, close my eyes, and dream of you again. You, in the soft supple youth, driving the Boston Whaler across the shallow, in the night. The smell of pure ocean air. Your hair, your feet, your legs.
I never fit there then, I was so insecure. It was too good for me, I didn't deserve it. At least that's what I felt. But now. I've changed. I know I deserve it. You, and everything you bring. Your anger, your wit, your humor, your angst.
You hang around my life like a heavy and beautiful medallion. You're a pendulum that swings with the inertia of my life. I might swing with yours too. I just don't know. At least I can still dream. At least I can still breathe.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
love isn't perfect
and it sure causes problems.
we aren't perfect either
and the two together really get interesting.
then we try to do the right thing
and that's when we really mess things up!
["...not like they told you love is,
love doesn't make things nice,
it ruins everything
it breaks your heart,
it makes things a mess!"]
we aren't perfect either
and the two together really get interesting.
then we try to do the right thing
and that's when we really mess things up!
["...not like they told you love is,
love doesn't make things nice,
it ruins everything
it breaks your heart,
it makes things a mess!"]
minute by minute
quiet
be still
voices
compel
me to
listen
to their
outrageous
obsessions
trying
to drag
me in
on their
lines
of promise
and grandiose
melodrama
of love
and perfection
when all
I've got
to work with
is utter
imperfection
my humanity
his humanity
her humanity
our humanity
bumping
into out
dreams
crowding
the room
with expectations
hardly
able to breathe
any more
and
if you can't
find a way to
laugh at it all
you are doomed
so minute by minute
is all I can muster
heart beat
by heart beat
breath
by breath
be still
voices
compel
me to
listen
to their
outrageous
obsessions
trying
to drag
me in
on their
lines
of promise
and grandiose
melodrama
of love
and perfection
when all
I've got
to work with
is utter
imperfection
my humanity
his humanity
her humanity
our humanity
bumping
into out
dreams
crowding
the room
with expectations
hardly
able to breathe
any more
and
if you can't
find a way to
laugh at it all
you are doomed
so minute by minute
is all I can muster
heart beat
by heart beat
breath
by breath
candle light bath
What is more relaxing than a hot bath lit by candles?
I just took a hot bath and let a tiny candle float in the tub in the half shell of a mollusk. Its gentle glide around the water's surface and its tiny light lifted me and grounded me simultaneously.
It is between the earth and the sky that we live, mostly of water, but not in water. Something that craves ultimately for the sky. Maybe our forms are only half way back to the cosmos. Maybe we're only in the middle stage of evolution. Who can assume this is the apex of our physical form. I tend to think we are in the middle somewhere. Which explains our position in the world. It also can explain our captivation with the stars.
We are stardust after all. And our elemental souls are trapped in this planet after some cataclysmic event. The primordial ooze is just reconfiguring itself, morphing over and over, on its journey back. Maybe this is the halfway point. We've still got eons to go. or to goo.
Well, this may not be scientific, but it helps me embrace the dissatisfaction of being caught in limbo. Water is my sanctuary. I can neither be in water, nor air, nor earth. I must live between somewhere. Just as I cannot possess my beloved. If I do, I will only kill myself or my beloved.
I have to learn to live with contentment at the idea of the beloved within and without. In my heart, but not in my physical world. And if by chance I can reach the beloved in the physical world, I must love in the moment wholly, or I will miss the most precious meaning of life.
The glimpse of love is brief. Probably for good reason. I don't know.
I just took a hot bath and let a tiny candle float in the tub in the half shell of a mollusk. Its gentle glide around the water's surface and its tiny light lifted me and grounded me simultaneously.
It is between the earth and the sky that we live, mostly of water, but not in water. Something that craves ultimately for the sky. Maybe our forms are only half way back to the cosmos. Maybe we're only in the middle stage of evolution. Who can assume this is the apex of our physical form. I tend to think we are in the middle somewhere. Which explains our position in the world. It also can explain our captivation with the stars.
We are stardust after all. And our elemental souls are trapped in this planet after some cataclysmic event. The primordial ooze is just reconfiguring itself, morphing over and over, on its journey back. Maybe this is the halfway point. We've still got eons to go. or to goo.
Well, this may not be scientific, but it helps me embrace the dissatisfaction of being caught in limbo. Water is my sanctuary. I can neither be in water, nor air, nor earth. I must live between somewhere. Just as I cannot possess my beloved. If I do, I will only kill myself or my beloved.
I have to learn to live with contentment at the idea of the beloved within and without. In my heart, but not in my physical world. And if by chance I can reach the beloved in the physical world, I must love in the moment wholly, or I will miss the most precious meaning of life.
The glimpse of love is brief. Probably for good reason. I don't know.
the next time
I've thought about the next time. I think I want to start talking in complete sentences and not poetry. I started the year out last year with stories, and I think I should do that now.
I guess winter lends itself to longer thoughts and reflection. Summer is poetry and painting, Winter is prose and bags. I wonder how that relates to time of life. If this is the autumn of my life, maybe it is fitting I go from poetry to prose. Extended thought and reflection are part of my daily meditation. As is clearing my mind of the clutter I accumulate, through my heart and mind, on an hourly basis.
I'll never understand love, and knowing that has given me some peace. I'm just learning how to surrender to it. And that is a scary enough ride. I'm thinking it's like bungee jumping. At some point you have to let go and jump, totally trusting the chord, those who made the chord, those who assembled the rigging, and gravity to perform the way they were intended.
Using the flower and the smile analogy, I see through them in my minds eye onto a flame. That flame is the love. I see the flower and the smile as the material and the spiritual world, and just as they veil us from true love, so too they lead us there.
What a wondrous world.
peace.
I guess winter lends itself to longer thoughts and reflection. Summer is poetry and painting, Winter is prose and bags. I wonder how that relates to time of life. If this is the autumn of my life, maybe it is fitting I go from poetry to prose. Extended thought and reflection are part of my daily meditation. As is clearing my mind of the clutter I accumulate, through my heart and mind, on an hourly basis.
I'll never understand love, and knowing that has given me some peace. I'm just learning how to surrender to it. And that is a scary enough ride. I'm thinking it's like bungee jumping. At some point you have to let go and jump, totally trusting the chord, those who made the chord, those who assembled the rigging, and gravity to perform the way they were intended.
Using the flower and the smile analogy, I see through them in my minds eye onto a flame. That flame is the love. I see the flower and the smile as the material and the spiritual world, and just as they veil us from true love, so too they lead us there.
What a wondrous world.
peace.
Friday, January 2, 2009
i'm here
if you need me
just
reach for me
i'm here
i'll do what i can
i'll try
so
i just say
good-bye
for now
not for ever
if you
want
please
say hello
any time
i'll be happy
to welcome
you
with open
heart
and arms
just
reach for me
i'm here
i'll do what i can
i'll try
so
i just say
good-bye
for now
not for ever
if you
want
please
say hello
any time
i'll be happy
to welcome
you
with open
heart
and arms
Thursday, January 1, 2009
storm subsided
after
wind
folded
over
blades
broken
limbs
torn
shingles
after
torrents
eroded
beds
crumbled
foundations
flooded
dens
gone now
but for the debris
but for the blanket
of silt
left over
carried over
weathered
worn
but not
dead yet
wind
folded
over
blades
broken
limbs
torn
shingles
after
torrents
eroded
beds
crumbled
foundations
flooded
dens
gone now
but for the debris
but for the blanket
of silt
left over
carried over
weathered
worn
but not
dead yet
bellatrix in orion
i could be your
Bellatrix in Orion!
i could stand
as a blue giant
in your
constellation
i could drift
through
the universe
with you every night
configured
but not contained
our
essence
luminous
Bellatrix in Orion!
i could stand
as a blue giant
in your
constellation
i could drift
through
the universe
with you every night
configured
but not contained
our
essence
luminous
a primer for star gazers
i bought the book
on Amazon
and on the
fly leaf
an inscription;
[Feb. 15, 1959
"my Bellatrix in Orion"
Our anniversaries are
rendered in the stars --
to forever
reflect our
love therin:
love,
-B.]
Bellatrix... female warrior
i fall into the stars
when i think of your touch
i fall and fall
i was lost,
drifting
through this universe
for so long
until
i thought i'd
found my
home planet,
there it was!
warm and green
with liquid
water and oxygen
and then
it turned
out to be
just a mirage
generated
by a strong
desire,
a hope
of what might
be
bellatrix
in
orion.
i could be that
i could
stand
a blue giant
in your
constellation
i could drift
through
the universe
with you every night
configured
but not contained
our
essence
luminescent
on Amazon
and on the
fly leaf
an inscription;
[Feb. 15, 1959
"my Bellatrix in Orion"
Our anniversaries are
rendered in the stars --
to forever
reflect our
love therin:
love,
-B.]
Bellatrix... female warrior
i fall into the stars
when i think of your touch
i fall and fall
i was lost,
drifting
through this universe
for so long
until
i thought i'd
found my
home planet,
there it was!
warm and green
with liquid
water and oxygen
and then
it turned
out to be
just a mirage
generated
by a strong
desire,
a hope
of what might
be
bellatrix
in
orion.
i could be that
i could
stand
a blue giant
in your
constellation
i could drift
through
the universe
with you every night
configured
but not contained
our
essence
luminescent
pressure cooker
i just opened the lid
on the pressure cooker,
before it was done
letting all of its
steam go
and it just
exploded all over
the kitchen
and me
and I'm
just glad
my little one
wasn't
standing there,
it would've
hit him
and burned him
right in his eyes
and now my psychosis
is complete
because I feel
just like
gollum
and i crawl
just like him
and i'm so
broken and obsessed
like him
and
i have no where
to go
and no one
to turn to
and
you have left
me like this
(my precious)
ah, but I'll
straighten up
and stand like a human
and put the skin on
and the hair
and I'll utter
their language
and try to understand
their ultimate dysfunction
and I'll clean up
the mess
and run the crap
down the drain
and I'll
go on like nothing ever
happened
and I'll
make some hummus
and eat
it on pita
bread
whole wheat
pita bread
of course
none of this white
stuff it
is pure glucose
and i shutter
to think what
might happen to me
if i consumed
all that
and water too
because you never
know,
you just never
know
you can never
let your guard
down
because there
is someone
waiting in the
wings
to expose
you
to hurt
you
to consume
you
fresh
like a fresh
sprig of mint
garnished
with
a little
paprika
in the end
you're expelled
from their ass
just like the stupid
little turd
you actually are
stinking
and oozing
with
waste
on the pressure cooker,
before it was done
letting all of its
steam go
and it just
exploded all over
the kitchen
and me
and I'm
just glad
my little one
wasn't
standing there,
it would've
hit him
and burned him
right in his eyes
and now my psychosis
is complete
because I feel
just like
gollum
and i crawl
just like him
and i'm so
broken and obsessed
like him
and
i have no where
to go
and no one
to turn to
and
you have left
me like this
(my precious)
ah, but I'll
straighten up
and stand like a human
and put the skin on
and the hair
and I'll utter
their language
and try to understand
their ultimate dysfunction
and I'll clean up
the mess
and run the crap
down the drain
and I'll
go on like nothing ever
happened
and I'll
make some hummus
and eat
it on pita
bread
whole wheat
pita bread
of course
none of this white
stuff it
is pure glucose
and i shutter
to think what
might happen to me
if i consumed
all that
and water too
because you never
know,
you just never
know
you can never
let your guard
down
because there
is someone
waiting in the
wings
to expose
you
to hurt
you
to consume
you
fresh
like a fresh
sprig of mint
garnished
with
a little
paprika
in the end
you're expelled
from their ass
just like the stupid
little turd
you actually are
stinking
and oozing
with
waste
i'm sorry
i don't understand
anything
it just doesn't make
any sense
all I want
is precious
all I want
is the wine
and I figure we
might just have
thirty years or more
if we take care
of ourselves
and that would be
something
which isn't what
we have now.
anything
it just doesn't make
any sense
all I want
is precious
all I want
is the wine
and I figure we
might just have
thirty years or more
if we take care
of ourselves
and that would be
something
which isn't what
we have now.
when you are ready
I'll be here
with open heart
and open arms
but I must
stay sober
I must stay
sane
I didn't ask
you to come
you volunteered
you asked me
and then you
retreated
but pandora and
her box have been
opened up
now what are you
going to do?
just leave them here?
OK, but here is
where we'll stay
so when you are ready
come and see
if we're still alive
we'll be here
if we are dead,
please have us
composted.
with open heart
and open arms
but I must
stay sober
I must stay
sane
I didn't ask
you to come
you volunteered
you asked me
and then you
retreated
but pandora and
her box have been
opened up
now what are you
going to do?
just leave them here?
OK, but here is
where we'll stay
so when you are ready
come and see
if we're still alive
we'll be here
if we are dead,
please have us
composted.
abracadabra good-bye
I'm saying good-bye
for now
just so I can stay sane
or at least
keep it together
for the day-to-day
so I can get up
and go out
into the world
without the
constant
chatter
without the
constant
interference
of the thoughts
about how it could be
how it could've been
if I'd just
if you'd just
so there is this
other world
I will exist within
but it won't ever be real
without you
so I hope you remember
that.
abracadabra, you said it yourself...
["Treat your aches and pains with drugs because love is ineffective for the physical. I'm pretty burnt out on the 'love' thing, and I don't want you to fall back into your old habits with me. It isn't going to be like it was before, ever. That didn't work out for me."]
abracadabra, you're here, then you're gone,
just long enough to pierce with the dagger.
just long enough to make me bleed
abracadabra you're gone
abracadabra good-bye
well, I say good-bye
to all that
my heart broken
and ripped apart
but I'll just continue
to ramble around this
world without a meaning
without settling
because I've really already
settled, but just not
where I'm allowed to be
so abracadabra
good-bye
for now
for now
just so I can stay sane
or at least
keep it together
for the day-to-day
so I can get up
and go out
into the world
without the
constant
chatter
without the
constant
interference
of the thoughts
about how it could be
how it could've been
if I'd just
if you'd just
so there is this
other world
I will exist within
but it won't ever be real
without you
so I hope you remember
that.
abracadabra, you said it yourself...
["Treat your aches and pains with drugs because love is ineffective for the physical. I'm pretty burnt out on the 'love' thing, and I don't want you to fall back into your old habits with me. It isn't going to be like it was before, ever. That didn't work out for me."]
abracadabra, you're here, then you're gone,
just long enough to pierce with the dagger.
just long enough to make me bleed
abracadabra you're gone
abracadabra good-bye
well, I say good-bye
to all that
my heart broken
and ripped apart
but I'll just continue
to ramble around this
world without a meaning
without settling
because I've really already
settled, but just not
where I'm allowed to be
so abracadabra
good-bye
for now
wave form corn starch
Click on the title "wave form corn" for the instructions on how to make wave form corn starch creatures.
Corn starch life forms. Wow. that is cool.
:-)
here's more...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw4qklgNIxI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKxKVpHZe5Q&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yp1wUodQgqQ&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scbPKjU8Ssg&NR=1
Corn starch life forms. Wow. that is cool.
:-)
here's more...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw4qklgNIxI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKxKVpHZe5Q&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yp1wUodQgqQ&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scbPKjU8Ssg&NR=1
resolve
I resolve to:
learn to love more deeply
exercise at least 4 times a week
keep eating healthfully
meditate
do a painting a week
do 2 bags a week
be a better employee
be a better mother
to be continued...
learn to love more deeply
exercise at least 4 times a week
keep eating healthfully
meditate
do a painting a week
do 2 bags a week
be a better employee
be a better mother
to be continued...
under stand
no one can understand
maybe not even you
but I promise to stay
this time
is different
I am different
I hope you believe me
I must not stray
because it is no use
you are the only
one that can reach
into my chest
and pull out my heart
you are the one
that states
the obvious
and sees the elephant
in the room
the one I see too
you, it's you
and it will always be you
and I can't even talk
to you right now
I can't even reach you
I hope the devastation
will not be cataclysmic
I hope your hands
will still
reach for me
after it's all over
you are not a failure
you are a success
you are a son who is
so strong and loving
and mighty in his will
but nature is nature
I will wait
and after that,
I hope you come,
but if you don't
I will wait
still
because
it is no use
maybe not even you
but I promise to stay
this time
is different
I am different
I hope you believe me
I must not stray
because it is no use
you are the only
one that can reach
into my chest
and pull out my heart
you are the one
that states
the obvious
and sees the elephant
in the room
the one I see too
you, it's you
and it will always be you
and I can't even talk
to you right now
I can't even reach you
I hope the devastation
will not be cataclysmic
I hope your hands
will still
reach for me
after it's all over
you are not a failure
you are a success
you are a son who is
so strong and loving
and mighty in his will
but nature is nature
I will wait
and after that,
I hope you come,
but if you don't
I will wait
still
because
it is no use
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