depression

i used to
try to save
every single
morsel

i was afraid
of losing
it all
if i lost
the tiniest
crumb

just like
my mother
saved her
straws and napkins
from the
restaurant
because
she learned
in the depression
how hard things
could be
to come by

i used
to gather up
the remnants
and reminisce
somehow knowing
how
difficult
it would be
to come by
happiness again
some day

but i forgot
to gather
up the present

absent
losing it all
while trying to
gather up
and save