i notice things

i notice things
like
gum under the chair
hair in the food
flies on the window
worms in the rice

i can't forget them
even after their gone
their shadows spook me
make me squirm

i notice things
that aren't even there
like someone's attraction
someone's distraction

then i make bad decisions
about my relationship
to that person

and then i start to notice
even more

i start to notice
that i'm not the only one
they want to talk to

i start to notice
i'm not the only one
they want to see

i even notice
they may not even
want to be near me...

that's when i implode
the little fleshy shell
caves in upon itself

the darkness of the bugs
and the hairs in the drain
come crawling up like
daddy long legs
and centipedes

my nice hot bath
becomes a stewing pot...

i need some more thyme