neatly appointed

the petite, neatly appointed woman
with everything in its place
so neat, so tiny,
so measured and controlled
so inside,
so inside him
and he inside her

why can't I go in there?

I'm incapable of that kind of love
that neatly appointed
everything in its place kind of love

she is like a Bach invention
perfectly synchronized and harmonic
I'm like an Ornette Coleman improv
dissonant and chaotic

my love is sloppy
clumsy and willy nilly
it's here and it's there
it's outside wilderness survival love.
does that make it less sincere?
does that make it less valuable?

she is so neat
so tight
so right
and I'm all wrong
floppy
and out of place
loud
big
baggy
and unkempt.
that's me
that's my love too.

I love the wrong person
at the wrong time
I love them for all the wrong reasons
but does that make my love all wrong
all out of place?
does that make me all wrong and out of place?
hap hazard
alien
distorted
and
worthless?

Maybe even I prefer Bach.


(Bach Invention #4)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORyJS6r6_n4

(Ornette Coleman: Dancing in your head)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72SVN9sO4P4


(fun video with Glenn Gould in NYC)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEtmifxrdsw&feature=related